Tuesday, March 27, 2007

My Problem With Pop Machines

First, my apologies to the rest of the nation who uses another word. Pop is what we call it here, and so that is what I'm calling it in this blog. Substitute soda, coke, or whatever else you prefer.

I'm getting really annoyed with pop machines lately. Okay, so prices are outrageous. Why is it that I can buy a two-liter bottle of Diet Coke for less than the price of a 20-oz. bottle from the pop machine? But, whatever. It is my own fault for being the dope who pays the $1.35.

But I have other issues. More important issues. Like, who has decided that people who drink diet pop get only one choice, or two at most, while those who drink regular pop get like six or seven choices? Don't they realize that diet is being increasingly popular?

Yet, even when a pop machine offers you a "choice" of diet, it is between Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi...or, between Diet Coke and Coke Zero...or between Diet Pepsi and Pepsi One.

Excuse me, but what if I don't want cola? Next choice? Diet Sprite.

Apparently they seem to think that's all people who drink diet like. Cola or Lemon-Lime.

At my workplace, I was happy, because the pop machine offered me Diet Mountain Dew. Okay, I'll admit I would prefer if it were Diet Code Red Mountain Dew...but I'll live. But what did they do, arbitrarily? They recently replaced the Diet Mountain Dew button with a second regular Mountain Dew button. So, my choice of diet is Diet Pepsi, Diet Pepsi (yes, it is there twice), or Diet Coke.


At church, the pop machine offers a grand total of one diet pop choice. Twice, I left a note on the machine please requesting that they add a second diet pop offering. There are a lot of diet pop drinkers at my church, and the Diet Pepsi is always the first to be sold out.

Okay. So, that's annoying, to be sure. There are so many other, better, diet pops out. Coke Zero Cherry, or Black Cherry Vanilla Diet Coke, or Diet Code Red Mountain Dew, or Diet Pepsi Jazz (of either variety), or Diet Dr. Pepper, or Diet Ruby Red Squirt, etc. None of which are offered.

Well, a couple days ago, I started experiencing a new issue. Pop machines that randomly decide my quarters aren't good enough. I'm not talking about machines that are telling me "exact change". I'm talking about plunking in four separate quarters, and the machine arbitrarily decides it won't take any of them. It tried about twenty times. At first I thought it was just a fluke. Yet, a day later, a different pop machine, it, too, decided my quarters were no good.

And here's the kicker: yesterday, I used two crisp one dollar bills to buy myself a pop (the dope I am...yes, I know). It happily gave me my Diet Pepsi, and my $.65 change. Only, it decided to give me a quarter that isn't from these United States...which means I can't even use the quarter it gave me in another pop machine!

Maybe it's all for the best. Maybe I need to go back to just drinking water from the water fountain.


jill. said...

Oh my gosh Ryan. I totally could have written this post!! I HATE cola of all varieties, so it's rare that there is something I can drink. Yesterday I actually left work to walk to the store to buy a Diet Code Red Mountain Dew (it was a particularly rough Monday..)

I get soooo frustrated when there is nothing I can drink when I'm out to eat or at work. I do keep Crystal Light in my desk, but it's not the same as a fizzy pop!

Glad that I'm not alone!! Damn those soda companies!

Melissa said...

I am right there with you. I LOVE the Diet Dew so get super excited when there is a pop machine that has it. I know which buildings at school have it and which floor in the medical building where my doc is carries. I feel better knowing I am not the only one continually frustrated by the lack of diet choices.

Ottoette said...

and Fresca! Why can't they put Fresca, esp the new black cherry fresca in machines??

Lori Rode said...

I'm WITH you. Shall we storm the soft-drink companies, and the bottlers, and the evil vending machine stocking people? My personal fave is PepsiOne (Pepsi formulated with Splenda - yum) I drink 12 to 48 ounces of this, usually before noon. 2 pm at the latest. My personal favorite rave on this subject is Diet NON-CAFFEINATED pop available for me after noon.

Do you want me to be up screaming all night? Do you want me to come in here tomorrow after drinking that caffeine, in order to avoid the sugar, and be offered the same stupid repetitive choices? Do you think sleep deprivation will improve my coping skills?

And let's include fast food restaurants in this rant. 6 sugared choices, and one diet cola. Wendy's has lite lemonade and Quiznos sometimes has Sobe Lean Grapefruit. I also like a diet Barq's Root Beer, when I can get it.

Kassie said...

I can remember the moment - nearly 20 years ago - when I first toured the diabetes camp where I'd landed a summer job... and rounded the corner of the conference center hallway to discover (dramatic pause here)...

A soda machine filled ENTIRELY with diet soda. It was love at first site ;)

Bernard said...


I agree completely. Despite having almost given up diet anything (in favor of plain water), sometimes I would like a soda/pop/whatever you call it. And I generally don't want all the caffeine that comes with Coke or Pepsi.

Vending machine folks are you listening. How about some variety for those of us who don't want to guzzle down a lot of calories.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that is crazy. My work has 1 machine with 10 choices.

1- Mt. Dew
2- Pepsi
3- Mt Dew
4- Mt Dew
5- Coke
6- Diet Pepsi
7- Diet Coke
8- Mt Dew
9- Barq's RB
10- Sprite

Yes that is correct 4 Mt. Dew's and it is great!

However, I have started to get it at Costco for >$9/36pcak (less than 25c each) and bring some to work and put them in our fridge. Either way I have my Dew! So sorry for your diet thing... but not really.